Just take me for a ride
As we swayed between topics, thoughts floating by like clouds above us, we got on the subject of art and influence. I said, “I’m influenced by the sound of words when people speak, bubbles, color combinations, and trash film.”
The ultimate truth about this world is that it won’t ever make sense to me. Maybe it’s a bit odd for me to have wanted it to make sense to begin with. After all, simply being here and breathing into the world without my own say is outlandish enough. Making sense is transcendent – immeasurable. If the world made sense I would have died already. I wouldn’t have created anything out of struggle and thought or pain or polarity. I wouldn’t know myself in grief the way I do now or the way I might later. If it all made sense I certainly wouldn’t have become a writer.
I love the outcome. The result of what this truth has brought out in creation. Because art, much like life, doesn’t owe us an explanation. It’s everything and nothing. It’s a charge and a negative. It’s ratio, particle, emotion, expanse. It’s hue. It’s light. Whatever it is, it is. I’m grateful to be able to soak it up without needing an answer.
I’ve realized how strongly people try to hold on to control as they age. They get so rigid. Squeezing the life out of everything for the sake of controlling it. A stress response connected to everything because it all needs to make sense. Control is the enemy of creation.
After I said it to him I thought about my screening coming up. I thought about how trash film has so greatly affected my life.
Like, yes, please give me a terrible horror movie without a plot, a whole slew of babes we never truly get to know – all styled differently with a pants-down lace heart underwear moment. Give me practical effects, ridiculous dialogue and not a single character I’m actually rooting for. I want monsters and demons and some weird human-to-doll type witchery. Give me something that doesn’t make sense so I can be dazzled by it.
I curated the film Demon Wind at The Idaho Film Society Saturday, May 30th. If you missed it, watch it anyway. It’s horrid, hilarious, and nothing about it makes sense. Exactly as it should be.
Life can do enough without our control. Trust me. Like art it can whisper in your ear and take you by surprise. I may not know much about how this gorgeous and vicious world works, but I’ll always want to go for a ride.
Xo Grace
Horror Fashion Review 
Leave a comment