You know that song Dreaming by Blondie? It’s one of the few of their’s that’s actually great. The ending lines go; Imagine something of your very own/Something you can have and hold/I’d build a road in gold just to have some/Dreaming, dreaming is free/Dreaming, dreaming is free.

Here’s the thing; sometimes life really sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sometimes there aren’t happy endings. There aren’t magical places that will bring people back to life in the ways they were before. Sometimes, you won’t be able to save them. When you finally let that sink in, it can shred you to nothing. The memories of when things were good, however fucking long ago that was, is all you get. And that has to be enough. It has to be.

We dream of a life that isn’t real to get us through the truth. We build our own golden roads that lead us to the places we wish so badly were real. Sometimes the roads that we walk in our dreams is all we will ever get and you have to grasp at that or at whatever is enough to get you through a day, or a night, or a moment.

Today, right now, what is enough is the distraction of my love for Kelly in the movie Blades from 1989. Trust me, I know there’s not a cure for the shit that’ll ache inside you forever, but you can still wear a light robin’s egg blue sweater on a golf course while you’re hurting and trying your best.

So, how do you carry on in life knowing that some things will stay bleak and horrible forever? You play it fucking cool.

Kelly Lange is the epitome of cool with her strong will and unapologetic gumption. Kelly Lange played by the lovely Victoria Scott is the main babe of this film and the kind of character every girl wants to be. Beautiful Kelly is charisma and class all bundled into a bangin’ babe who knows what she’s worth. She’s an Ace. A hole-in-one. So let’s dig in.

When you are the queen of golf at the Tall Grass Country Club, you take shit seriously. That’s why we root for Kelly from the second we meet her in that light banana cream polo. We have no complaints. The white pants in the linen cotton blend make sense, especially paired with those matching stark white shoes. She doesn’t miss. No Mulligan’s for this babe, just matching country club sets and an iron swing.

We know Kelly is the kind of girl who won’t let people toss her into the sand pit and get away with it. This caddie turned (almost) pro isn’t about to let anyone else take away what she’s earned. Kelly is cool and collected while the lawnmower is out on the fringe killing the players, but Roy will not get away with taking her promotion.

We see Kelly again at Roy’s place, apologizing for being mean. The black low heels with dark wash jeans is truly every babe’s go-to “I’m sorry” look.

She knows how to dress herself but she’s been wearing too many club polos to remember that she has a great rack and beautiful arms. It’s okay. This moment was set-up for her to look vulnerable so we overlook the saggy paper bag energy of the pink button up. Plus we all have faith that she can wow Roy even more when he sees her again. I guess, even with this outfit, she’s playin’ it cool.

It takes a lot of sass to wear baby pink and lavender purple together. It’s almost as stubborn as full-on 80s sunshine curls left to fend for themselves without any product. We are witnessing every windswept moment and bounce that she confronts.

We see you Kelly, taking every moment to remind us all that you are the only woman unafraid to rock a girly pastel pallet on the course AND that you don’t care what people think of you. Keep that shit up, girl.

The fate of Kelly is in her own hands, and we could all learn a thing or two from this unmovable certainty within her. When she pulls out the knee-length light navy blue golf skirt, we know that we are dealing with a pro. There’s honestly not even a second consideration that she won’t make it through the movie. She is the movie. Dressed to perfection on a cool early autumn day on the green.

The white socks with the white shoes are professional country club odes to a woman who won’t slack even for a second all while knowing the bloody and mangled remains of fellow clubbers lie in puddles around the course. No time for slowing down. Put that banana yellow polo back on and teach those classes, babe. We trust you with our lives.

The power of a cardigan is subtle and serene. It’s a surprise attack whenever you see it because it’s usually pretty rare. A cardigan is knowing that no one needs to know how much something means to you because it truly doesn’t matter, it won’t change the thing itself. A cardigan is the sugar on the rim of the glass, not the whole strawberry drink. It’s the taste, not the main dish. It’s knowing that sometimes it’s better to be quiet than to say too much. That’s what a cardigan is. The ultimate in style and comfort, a cardigan is an exposé on being in control. Kelly is in control of every move she makes in this film, and we know that cardigan is helping in the nighttime search scene.

We are soothed yet again by her shift back into golf course babe the next time we see her. It’s like learning the same lesson over and over again and no matter what, you keep going back to it, learning it the hard way. This bright robin’s egg blue with white stripes is the lesson that we are all here to learn. Also, it is a foreshadow to her ultimate fighting hue with her final outfit choice.

When the climax hits and the fight against the mower is in full swing, Kelly’s hair never falters, her strength never fails, and her robin’s egg blue speaks volumes for her. Kelly is true to herself and true to her pastels. Shout outs to Michel Clifford who was the wardrobe supervisor on this one who didn’t miss a shot with her outfits.

Kelly walks into the sunset with Roy and a new appreciation for dyed-fabrics. Knowing all too well who she is now and who she will become. She may never let go of her pastel closet but she won’t give up on herself, and that’s all we could ever hope for.

I just want you to know that sometimes you will lose. The world will tell you that everything will be okay and that everything happens for a reason, but you’ll know that’s not true. Sometimes you will watch the people you love the most lose everything, sometimes over and over again, sometimes for 12 years straight and there’s nothing you can do but watch them get shredded to pieces right in front of you.

Sometimes life IS really like getting run over by a raging psycho lawn mower at your favorite country club. And within the horrible shitty nightmare of life, you catch glimpses of light and you can smile even though you’re hurting. Maybe that’s what the Blondie song is about. How the ability to pretend can be just as strong as what is real. How we will always have control when we feel like we don’t. If just for a moment, you can dream, you can control, and feel whole again. Those are the moments I love. Those are the moments I’m still living for. To dream up what is missing. To dream up a different ending. To grasp at what is enough.

Until next time,

Grace Lovera